The two mindset shifts you need to have difficult conversations

I was a moderator in/on (not sure how you say it) Clubhouse earlier this week in a room on Difficult Conversations. Moderators were asked to share parting gems we have on the topic.

Here are my jewels.

1. Stay connected to the purpose of the difficult conversation. It’s never about the actually conversation but what the goal is. So often we get caught up in how we will feel, what will we say, will they get mad, and so wrapped up in the conversation that we forget why we need to have it in the first place.

If your difficult conversation is 1. in service of someone ex. feedback at work or 2. in service of yourself ex. setting a boundary with someone, come back to this reason.

Difficult conversations can be a gift. If are struggling with having this conversation, stop and ask yourself “What is the gift/act of service in this conversation?”. Connecting to the purpose can help give the courage you need.

2. Don’t confuse the discomfort of the talk with it not being the right thing to do. Difficult is in the name. These conversations are not supposed to be comfortable or feel good. You may feel awkward and uncomfortable and start to talk yourself out of having what could be a monumental conversation. Stop. Don’t confuse the feelings with the facts. Some conversations and decisions will not be fun and that’s okay.

What difficult conversation have you been putting off?

If you have it what is the positive impact that could happen because of it?

Difficult conversations are a gift even if it doesn’t feel like it.

P.S. The same two ideas go for difficult choices as well. Give it a whirl.